Oops

I really liked the picture I had as the frontispiece for this blog, but I did something boneheaded to the template and I do not know what, just yet.  Have to get out the toolbox.  I'll be tinkering with it for the next couple of days.  The good part is that the "blog owie" came because I was erasing old blogs (I kept many and the only thing I erased were blogs people haven't updated in years).  I hope to put back the top banner of Etruscan women dancing a "chain dance"--the Etruscans were a fascinating culture.

I am having a quiet day.  I am reading the Course in Miracles and doing the lessons.  In past times, I would have done a ton of writing about each lesson, which would then devolve into me complaining about my upbringing in the Church, etc.  Right now I am just trying to do the lessons as they are.  I've got past a hurdle of some deity channeling the Course--I don't discount that at all, especially a work that aims to promote love and forgiveness, and I've decided to just do the lessons and stop wondering about where it all came from.  I don't know exactly where the stars and the universe came from, but I learn lessons from them every night.

One thing I need to get back on my template is the Daily Word widget, as it shows a quote each day that I think is important for me to see when I write.  The quote today is "My life reflects God's peace within."  You know...my first reaction about myself is, "Yeah, right...I must not have any of God's peace within, then, or I wouldn't be so flawed...blah blah blah."  When those thoughts happen, I can acknowledge that I made mistakes (without unduly beating myself up too much) and then ask Spirit to help center me and come back to present moment.  I will never, ever be a saint in these matters--I would rather think of myself as a human being who is trying, that there really is no goal, only a journey.

Physically I am much better.  The hair loss definitely has slowed down and the nausea is going away.  I'm going to get a couple of inches cut off my hair in the next couple of weeks.  At least I am learning, slowly, that I can be unattached to my hair, literally and figuratively!  Plus, people are used to seeing people with no hair from chemo, sorry to say, in this society.  And "awfulizing" that my hair will never come back is part of the black-and-white thinking that tends to deploy in me quite often...I remind myself that what I feel today,and how I look and act, is impermanent and I can work towards other ways of being.

I'll close with something funny that happened to me the other day.  I saw a bumper sticker that said, "Blessed are the Peacemakers" and I misread it as "Blessed are the Pacemakers!"  I guess if I had one, I would hope I had enough gratitude to say that every day!  :)