I am resting after a great bellydance show tonite in which we brought the house down. I am so tired I really cannot write tonight...but I had a good day.  I made great eye contact with people and got many smiles.  I think I am going to try my first solo at Santa Cruz Raks (which is where we were tonight).  The zar I am saving for another time--my first solo will probably be a veil dance or something like that, or finger cymbals.

Well, it's midnight and I spent a goodly amount of time crying in my room about 30  minutes ago.  CG heard me and we had a long talk.  I told him that there were two songs at the dance performance tonight that made me think of the past with someone and I had to run back to the dressing room and cry (thankfully nobody was in there as they were watching the show).

"And then you went out and gave one of the best performances of your life," he said.

"Yeah." (as we are talking, I am curled up in a ball on the bed).

"You are quite the trouper, Joanie," he said, and gave me a really nice hug.  Sometimes I don't know what I would have done without him these last couple of months.

We talked a little bit about it more and I felt better. Then he went back to cleaning out his lair upstairs quite thoroughly as we have a social worker visit tomorrow.

I got my mind off things (realizing also that I am tired from my show so really have to watch my mood) by gathering up laundry and straightening up the disaster zone of getting my costume together.

And so it goes.