Finally Well, and 12 Years a Slave

First off, I am well after literally sleeping since Tuesday, with CG bringing me tea, soup, and smoothies, which were the only things I could eat.  My mouth sores are healed/healing.  I feel much, much better and am glad I did not have to go through those things all alone.  CG is the best caregiver, and very kind, and knows how to keep a person comfortable also.  It is important that I do not get infections so my body's immune system stays calm, or else it cancels the Imuran.

While sick, I rented and watched 12 Years a Slave.  I am so glad this won Best Picture, though I think the lead actor should have won Best Actor (I have loved him ever since Kinky Boots, which is a fun and thought-provoking film).  The depictions of slavery nearly made me throw up.  I think it was one of the most powerful films on slavery I have ever seen.  I thought of all the killings of black men and women, the discrimination, fear, cruelty, and oppression, and how far we all have to go until racism is fully dead in our society....I am overwhelmingly grateful that I was able to see a black President elected and re-elected in my lifetime.

I also thought about the ways I have accepted without question someone else's entitlement and oppression in my own life.  It is very hard to have someone judge you and consider themselves "above" you if you don't have a new car, perfect health, struggles with emotional issues, etc.  But you know, after watching the white slavers rape, beat, torment, starve, and otherwise treat their slaves like chattel to be ordered around or else experience horrific consequences, I realize that in the much milder context of what I am dealing with personally, such things say more about the other person than they do about me, that eventually their moral bill comes due and they pay their price, because there is a balance of justice in the world that always seeks its level.  I'm old enough to see that price tag come due, with interest, to other people, without me doing a single thing except go on with my life and become happy again.  As I said in my singing group the other night, the spirit will rise, always.  

I think, too, that it is important, even crucial, to shed light on anything I do that is oppressive or cruel to another, because no one person shoulders all the blame in this crazy society.  That, I think, is what Zen has taught me and on some level, the Course in Miracles on another level (though I think that the Course was the product of a couple of human minds, not God).  If other people shirk their accountability and play The Entitled One, that does not mean it is right, nor do I have to emulate them or pretend their actions are okay by meekly acquiescing.

At any rate, enough of this "thought-ing"--I need to get supper finished.

Thank you for listening.