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Thursday, July 31, 2014


First off:  I was driving home today and had a bit of epiphany.  I have (about half voluntarily) lost my faith in people around me after what happened in December.  It is so because I wonder now if everyone  presents one face to me and deceives with the other.  I wonder if everyone has a horrible secret they are hiding.  I wonder if someone lied to me about a behavior that they said is not an issue now and they are actually actively pursuing it in reality. I never thought of the latter before, but if someone lies by omission for many years when things were good and peaceful, why would I think they'd be truthful in a moment of anger and crisis? I still want to believe the best about everyone, even the person who was only partially honest with me. I still believe in their good.

 I fear now that some people around me have a secret core of evil and they blame society for making them what they are, that if society allowed certain abusive situations again, they would be at the top of the heap or something.  If you want a great example, albeit extreme, of this, even if it makes you ill, look at convicted murderer and child molester Joseph Edward Duncan's blog, "Blogging the Fifth Nail" which is still up (I won't post a link because he sickens me).  He blames society for causing his murder and kidnapping spree, a delusion he keeps this day (he has another blog from prison which is patently disgusting and if you want to see it, you can Google his name and find it).  And this guy actually tried to live a normal and productive life until he went off the deep end again.

How to trust?  Maybe "by their fruits shall ye know them".  How?

This is a very hard thing to think about.