I dreamed the nicest dream of M. last night. I dreamed I was walking through a suite of very nice, well-appointed apartments, with dark wood furniture, shining tile and wood floors, and brass ornaments everywhere (mirror frames, etc). It was all very beautiful and in great repair, like a nice suite in San Francisco. There was a city visible outside the windows, and all the buildings were bright white, like limestone.
The curious thing is that unfortunately I was in a bath towel! It was one of my real bath towels too. There were a few people passing through and I remember being unbelievably self-conscious. I finally took refuge in a small alcove next to a beautiful picnic on a yellow tablecloth; I remember there were pomegranates and oranges. I did not know how I would get some clothes and that was my big concern.
Then M appeared right in front of me, sitting in a lotus position and floating in the air! He looked exactly like he does in real life, down to a tie-dye shirt and pants, except his hair had been slightly trimmed up and neatened. I said, "It's you!" and he smiled and said, "Of course it's me! I am always with you." I asked him what he had done to his hair and he said he'd singed some on a candle and had to get it evened out. He then landed from the lotus position, gestured to the food, and said, "Why don't you join this feast?" and I said, "I will, when I get some clothes, but I don't know how to get them here." He then produced (pretty much out of thin air) a rose-pink shirt and a long denim skirt (the same skirt I have on right now which I really did get in a clothing exchange). I dressed very quickly ( I remember feeling warm and grateful for these clothes) and then we both sat side by side at the picnic/feast. It was so real; I even felt his body's warmth when I sat next to him. I don't think I had ever seen him so happy in so long--he had the kind of happiness when I had done something really nice for him and I could tell he really appreciated it.
I love dreams like this, when he comes to me and is so real that I think I really have had a visitation. It's considerably nicer than the dream I had last week, of losing my purse in a huge store and a mean woman would not let me back in to find it!
My name is Joan McMillan and this blog is, as Emily Dickinson says, "my letter to the world." I am currently working on a nonfiction book about the murder of a young woman, Asha Veil, born Joanna Dragunowicz, and her unborn daughter, Anina, on September 9, 2006. My book is meant to honor her life and illuminate the need to create a safer world for women and children.
To read an excerpt from the book, please click on the following link:
ashaveilbook.blogspot.com
An excerpt from The Pleasure Palace, my romantic comedy, can be found here:
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