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Sunday, October 12, 2014

The Question of Evil

It was nice to see nearly all members of my old writing group today...yes, all.  I have missed them.  And you, too, M., serendipitous as it was.

I am thinking tonight of a question posed in the comments: what made Asha's killer into such a twisted entity that he would, since puberty, attempt to assault women, had violent fantasies of such, liked to be "in control" of women, routinely harrassed women so much at his work that I wonder how he got anything else done there, cheat on the wife he supposedly loved so many times....all leading up, of course, to what he did to Asha, and the destruction of her, her child, his family, and so many, many people who adored Asha with good reason--she was a wonderful person.

I know McClish was adopted out of horrible circumstances, that he did not know who his birth parents were and did not want to, that he told a close friend when he was young that he felt "second best" in his family.  I feel that the latter is likely not true in real life--perhaps it WAS something he felt, but not something actually.  There are reports on him being "off" starting in high school.

So, his history of violence goes back very far.  The other members of his family seem well-adjusted.  Do his violent tendencies spring from some sort of brain injury from his early childhood, or something from neglect or abuse?  Millions of people grow up with abuse.  Millions of people are adopted out of a terrible childhood.  Millions of people don't feel totally loved by their parents, or even loved at all.  These things are only hints at how his brain might have formed a propensity.  His alcoholism certainly didn't help matters.  There is also a sense of brutality associated with certain groups of people in this place we live.  I believe that being in such a crowd did not help matters, either.

I have come to believe that McClish is a sociopath and that he was likely born that way, and his life path and choices supported and developed his pathology. Whether he was ever offered help or support to be something different, I don't know.  Perhaps I will know as I interview family.  No matter what, he was led to this path he clearly chose.  I can muster no sympathy for him.  I will have to say that in my book, too. Personally, I believe some people are evil, and he has evil in him.

I have been reading a lot about serial killers lately, judiciously (yes, I balance this out with more positive readings and activity).  Gary Ridgeway, the Green River killer, had a wife who adored him; she thought he was her knight in shining armor, and the guy was going out and killing prostitutes in his spare time.  It was REALLY hard to see her interview.  I can't even imagine it.

Watching this shows makes me think of my own life, and that I am lucky to not have had to deal with anyone like McClish, Bundy, etc., as in waking up one day and finding someone I love has been arrested for such a horrible crime.  Somehow, such a thing haunts me. I knew McClish and there were times in my life I was so vulnerable emotionally that he could have preyed on me, too...or my younger daughter, to whom he offered rides (I am glad for her street smarts, for she never took a ride from him).