It's all very good-natured teasing; people have been very supportive of what I am finding to be a challenging, and I think life-changing, project. Obsession over one's subject can help to get over all the self-doubt, all the times when you look at your writing and cringe (I write my first draft in a composition book and told myself today, "You sure learned nothing in your years of writing; maybe I should just go back to poetry.") This is the worst self-talk imaginable and I have to always push it aside.
Richard Bausch, a magnificent writer, shares his wisdom often on Facebook, and advises that behind every book, even the most glorious ones, lurks the writer's self-doubt and self-questioning. I find that very helpful. There's an AA saying, "Don't compare your insides with their outsides," which helps me with this sort of thing.
Anyways, something new in my office: on the wall facing my desk: the beautiful photo I recently posted of Asha; the cross on Love Creek Road in memory of Asha and Anina; a picture of her husband and a close friend, quietly sitting on the ground during Asha and Anina's cremation. This is what I want in front of me: life, and loss, and the deep sorrow of those left behind...this has to be in front of me always, so I can keep my focus on what this book really is about (it hasn't completely shown me that yet, but in time, it will).
Will close tonight with a song I listen to often as I write this, U2's "One":
No comments:
Post a Comment