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Friday, February 27, 2015


I've been away from this blog for a few days.  I do enjoy writing it and sharing my random thoughts. Often it helps me get centered before working on other writing.  This week I have/had two dance performances, one tonight (Thursday) at Don Quixote's.  If you have been following this blog for awhile, you know that I was assaulted at Don Quixote's a few years ago and had a great deal of emotional trouble afterwards.  I can see how far I have come in healing from that because I did not even think about the assault, at all, until just now....when I realized I did not think of it tonight!

Last night I dreamed about m, also--I was driving in a car with my granddaughter and a few other people when I saw him on the sidewalk, and asked to be let out so I could talk to him.  Curiously, he looked like other people I have seen in dreams after they die--about twenty years younger, and not in color (shades of black, white, and gray, like a black and white photograph), with very neat hair, a slightly trimmed beard, and neat, clean clothes.  He said he was really proud of all the work I have done on myself in the last year and was glad I seemed to be doing so much better healthwise and emotionally.  I told him I missed him and was glad to see him.  I had the sense he was going away to Jerusalem, of all places, and watched him go towards an open door that other people (all in Middle Eastern dress) were going into...I sensed it was to some other plane of existence, but knew I would see him again one day.  Before he went in, I yelled out, "L'chaim!}" (to life), and he yelled it back to me.  I woke happy to see him, but very disturbed by his aspect in the dream.  About two days after people I know have died, I always dream about them in the exact same "black-and-white photograph" way, with the age regression and very neat clothes and hair.  He is the first living person I've seen in such a way, in a dream. I don't like has disquieted me even as I felt happy to see him and hope he visits my dream world again. 

My dance performance at Don Quixote's with my troupe, Dancers of the Crescent Moon, went well despite multiple problems.  First, one of our troupe members learned tonight, just before the performance, that their marriage of over three decades is in serious trouble.  I wish the partner could have waited til after the performance to tell my friend, as my friend was very upset and I really admire them for going on stage tonight.  I am sad about it in many ways, for his sake and for the both of them: their marriage seemed to be the one that has had amazing lasting power and I really, really hope they work things out.

So we had an upset troupe member, and then a major glitch with the band.  We'd learned a coffee-and-bread-making song (from Lebanon, I think), with singing--and unfortunately the lead singer in the band started singing with us, at a much slower pace than we were used to.  It nearly threw us off, but we recovered.  Then I could not get my finger cymbals on in the next dance, but my troupe leader and I make a funny comedy improv about it.  All in all, it was a good night, and I was made grateful again for my troupe, which is truly my "family" in so many ways.