I Love Lupus...

....NOT.

I just read something by a cancer survivor which was basically a romantic love letter to her cancer for teaching her so much. K, that is nice...glad she had an epiphany. It is one way to deal with it.

If I had cancer (which my chemo can actually cause), I would be hating on it and smashing its evil little cancerous head into the ground. There would be not one thing I would be grateful for about it. It would be the enemy invader and me the warrior. What I would be grateful for would be the days I would wrestle from it.

I think it's okay to do the happy crystal fuzzy warm feeling stuff, but it is definitely not for me. I would like to go out like an old tired warrior, knowing I put up my best fight to stay here. I was horrified when I began chemo for lupus, aware that every day, probably for the rest of my life, I would ingest a sort of poison to lower my immune system and without it, I would not live...but now that medicine is my weapon. Lupus is the enemy, and will never, ever be my friend.