To read an excerpt from the book, please click on the following link:

ashaveilbook.blogspot.com


Wednesday, July 19, 2017

Back

I've no desire to return to the many years when I blogged once a year or so to tell everyone I had survived teaching another couple of semesters at San Jose State. Given my large readership--for which I am eternally grateful--I really should blog much more.

So, what's been going on with me? Here's the digest:

1) I am currently conflicted about my right to tell Asha's story in my book. I know I do not want to exploit her death and that of her child in any way, especially for the advancement of my own writing or "fame." I feel afraid at this point to approach family who loved her so and are scarred permanently by her death, even though my intention is to create the most powerful memorial to Asha that I can. I feel her story has a larger significance and resonance with many, many women, including myself. I could so easily have shared her fate, albeit by another man, that I actually have survivor's guilt over it.

But still, do I have the right, the moral right, to tell her story, going above the wishes of one person whose life entwined with hers? How can I get over my fear of approaching family and friends without hurting them further, and explain the intent of my book so that I am not viewed as some horrible ghoul? What exactly are the rights of any writer to tell any story?

So that's one thing keeping me up at night even as I try to forge ahead,

2) I had an excellent publisher approach me out of the blue regarding Asha's story.  They reluctantly decided not to take it, telling me that the story seemed "too regional" to publish successfully (I totally disagree, but whatever). Still, their excitement over it and the encouragement has meant everything to me, and their support and professionalism was amazing. I am considering looking for an agent even as I struggle with whether I should write this story at all.

3) I have a serious shoulder injury which will impact my ability to possibly perform with at least one of my troupes for some time. I am still dancing with modification and will perform with Dancers of the Crescent Moon this weekend. The choreographies are not usually that hard on the shoulder. I'm in a shoulder brace, especially at night. I will be in physical therapy soon, I hope. Beyond that is an unknown.

So there are some challenges in my life right now. But there is also modified dance, gardening to the best of my ability, enjoying the peace of the forest where I live, reading, writing in my journal--much to be grateful for!

Gratitude, I think, is everything.