Rain and Silence

The house is dark and quiet except for my one lamp.  Thistle has expressed interest in my other house, the one I should have been in by now.  It sits quietly, waiting for me.  I get sad about it; I want to spend more time there.  As much as CG has tried to make things better in this time, this place never feels like my home, only CGs place that I have filled with my possessions.  I feel like I have just taken it over and really, it is his, not mine.  Yet Thistle will be his daughter and his sole heir, and this house is hers by default.  It is a complicated and often very tiring and disheartening situation.  Yet I do have my rooms here, and a place I can work, but I want my own house to be a place I can go to and be, if I need to. I try to make the best of it.  I took on responsibility for a little girl who was cast out into the world all by herself before she was even two years old.  I will never let anything bad happen to her, even if it means curtailing the things I want for myself.

Well, the rain is starting, just a little, in our drought-torn area.  I pray for more.  It is a good sound to interrupt the deep silence of this autumn night.