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Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Thoughts on Safety from Casey

Casey (good friend whom I met through his wife, and who works in the mental health field) writes:

"I am saddened that you, the most brilliant person I have ever met, continues to feel so shattered. If I were you, I'd get behind the idea that such an individual is not worth this pain, but I know how much you cared about him, and I know how these things are when you were around someone for years.

Further, I worry that you encountered this person recently in an unlit, fairly deserted place and soon after discovered that he'd likely seen your car beforehand as you said it was parked a couple of spaces down from yours. There is another entrance to the Tannery, so when he saw your car, why didn't he go back out and enter the place the other way, so as not to encounter you, a matter of maybe five to ten minutes out of his time?

You cannot just assume benign intent from this individual who has not communicated with you in nearly a year and who has never apologized for anything he has done to you.  In fact, I strongly advise you to err on the side of non-benign intent until he tells you he is sorry and makes a real intent to show you that.  I am glad he was nice to you, and that relieves me a little bit, but will remain worried until I know his intentions are positive.  A dark, unlit area is not a good place to encounter him right now.  I do not share your happiness at that encounter, sorry to say.  Be wise and keep your eyes open. I worry that in your nervousness you told him you have a dance class there."

Casey is right, though I don't think m. has any negative intentions towards me and I wager that m. didn't even register my car in the lot at all. He used to do that sometimes with other things.  I think we just had a moment where we met by accident, and said hello, and that is it, though Casey is right--a dark, relatively unlit place with no one around was definitely not the safest place for such a thing to happen, for me.  I do think I will be more careful when I walk out from my class in future...a good idea in general.