I am not publishing the coroner's report on Madyson Middleton, nor sending a link to it. It was out a few days ago in the news, and I was frankly horrified: it was on the level of horror that I equate with some of the saddest, worst things that can happen to a kid, who had known nothing at all but love, all her life. She thought even the young man who killed her was her friend. As more comes out about him, it is obvious he was deranged in some deep, hidden way.
Writing and researching true crime probably should make me jaded about the human race, but it doesn't (at least not yet). However, I realize more and more that blindly trusting everyone is a mistake, that it is crucial to tell kids (and even adults) to be wary, expecially of someone they have just met, or who triggers even the slightest instinct to keep away.
For example, last night I went to a big, fun bellydance party with dance sisters, a wonderful band, and an appreciative, fun audience. It was at an intentional community run by a spiritual leader, and I did not trust him: there was a creepy vibe about him (he was just too "huggy," for one thing, though he neither spoke to nor approached me, probably because I give off a much more pragmatic vibe these days and don't get taken in very easily). I got some instincts that ran along the creepy with him, and am going to be very careful if I visit my friend in her community, if I ever go there at all again. I used to try and "remake" such folks in my mind, and I don't do this anymore--if I feel I cannot trust a person, I stay away, or if I have to interact with them in some way, I keep my distance. I am not always successful, but at least I am protecting myself some of the time!
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