Secret Lover cards

Oh...kay...I guess there's a niche for everything. Some woman has dreamed up the idea of greeting cards for one's adulterous affair.
Don't mean to judge, but these cards have a not-so-slight film of ickiness about them, as well as the fact that the text (poorly written, I might add) celebrates the most unhealthy sides of having an affair--the hiddenness, the need to "share" the other person, the inability to spend holidays and birthdays with the other person, and the tedium of one's "ordinary" at-home life.

Anyway, the cards themselves are about the ugliest things I've ever seen. The images are muddy and look like they've been drawn with lumpy cake frosting. My personal favorite is the card called "The Weekend is Over." The text says something to the point that the weekend was tedious without the Secret Lover, and now they can be together (presumably at work). The graphics show the office water cooler and two shadowy people smooching behind a door (which has a glass window--oops, not so secret). The most pathetic one is the Secret Lover Birthday Card, which contains a mealy-mouthed apology for not being able to spend a birthday with one's Secret Lover, as well as holiday cards for the same reason. There's even an anniversary card (do people really celebrate the anniversary on which they committed adultery?), which has two people looking at their (very distorted) reflections in a pool of water (I don't even need to point out the Narcissus reference). There's also a seriously groveling "I'm Sorry" card which begs forgiveness for "demanding too much" from the Secret Lover and their "special relationship."

Mr. Strega and I started joking around about cards for all sorts of weird relationship scenarios, most of which were not appropriate to print here. We did brainstorm a "Real Secret Lover" collection, with cards such as "I Promise I Will Leave My Spouse....Someday," "Call Me On My Cell Phone...Only," "I'm So Good At Erasing Every Trace of Me From Your Apartment," "I Don't Mind Spending Christmas Alone...Really," and "If You Don't Do What I Want, I'll Tell Your Wife."

These cards do seem to have one good purpose--they show how miserable most affairs probably end up, after awhile. Maybe that was the author's (secret) intent.

By the way, Hallmark has stated that they won't be coming up with a competitive line.