The adventure goes on

First off, I want to honor this anniversary, which affected so many lives--in fact, affected everyone in this country, but especially those who lost loved ones. This day stregthened my commitment to be a better person and to work for peace--sounds a bit simplistic, but there it is.

Second of all, the agent to whom I sent my work sent me an extremely nice and encouraging email last week, after considering the manuscript for seven weeks (which is standard and actually a very good response time). She said she shared the material I'd given her with another agent, and they agreed that the writing was excellent and the theme of the book was unique, but that they weren't as sure as they wanted to be about the book in its present form--she personally feels that memoirs should read like novels (I took that to mean moving in linear time, and my book isn't linear--it dips into the past and works in different voices). She did pinpoint the trouble spot that's been bugging me, too, the very first chapter of the book. She called me a "writer with promise" and told me she would very much like to see a revision and any other manuscripts I might have--and also said that hers was a completely subjective opinion and that another agent or editor might have a totally different opinion. So, I sent her an equally nice email back--don't want to burn that bridge at all--and will now choose another agent to send to and continue the adventure. This agent also waited until I read the email to start sending back my material, which I really appreciated, too. I don't think I could have hoped for a better experience the first time around, if it was in the cards that the manuscript would get rejected. If it gets rejected this positively by one of the top literary agencies in the country, then I know someone else will pick it up. I feel I have to find someone who believes in this book strongly to represent it.

I feel a little silly about all the "answers" I sought in dreams and in signs all over the place--but honestly, this could still turn out to be true (remember, she asked to see the revised manuscript)--and it still gives me hope. Sometimes blind faith is the very hardest thing to live with, especially creatively. As for my own part, I have been slothful and depressed since graduation, but now really am getting revved up to work and write (some of the depresssion involved family issues I really needed to resolve). I've been decorating The Office a little, too, and making it a more secure-feeling place to work. So, I'm on to the next step in the journey.