I actually shop mostly at the organic store in Felton, but there are times I go to the local Safeway for a couple of things (they have the only type of minced clams that seem to work for spaghetti with white clam sauce, for one thing). The checkout tedium is often relieved by the presence of The National Enquirer and such, with their pictures of celebrities without makeup and so forth, or the big blue dot they used to print someplace in the paper, which you were supposed to rub (yes, this is true) and by doing so, gain whatever you wanted.
The reigning monarch of the tabloids by far in weirdness is always the Weekly World News, with its stories of alien babies, 200 pound cats, and the incomparable (thank God) Bat Boy.
Well, sorry to say that the print edition of the Weekly World News has been beamed up to the mother ship. Apparently its readership has fallen, and so it will now be only the online edition, which you may access at www.weeklyworldnews.com, should you really need your daily dose of Bat Boy. One memorable headline from this week is based on a joke I heard someone (I think it was my dad) say from time to time: "Why Moses Wandered in the Desert for Forty Years--He Lost the Map!"
So now, instead of reading about vampire spouses, haunted beauty salons, and photos of George Bush at a summit with aliens, I will have to resort to musings about celebrity cellulite and plastic surgeries gone wrong. But then, all life is change, isn't it?
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