Breathe

Even though I have been dealing with lupus and fibromyalgia since late 1993, I am not always as mindful of my health as I ought to be. I have been pushing myself far too hard this semester, got the flu, and was, afterwards, ignoring a most ominous symptom: I was having trouble breathing for weeks after the flu, coughing, and NOT checking whether my asthma might be acting up (I am supposed to check this via a peak flow meter every day). I just ignored my symptoms and ended up in the hospital on Monday, March 3rd, with an acute asthma attack. I had to cancel class for the very first time, in all the time I have been teaching at the alma mater.

They gave me a breathing treatment, walloped me with 60 mg. of prednisone for five days, and (followed by a gradual weaning-off steriods), and gave me new inhaler prescriptions (i have two, an Advair "purple disc" and an albuterol inhaler). Four years ago, I had a massive asthma attack, much worse than this one, and had the same hospital routine--only my oxygen levels were much lower in the 2004 incident, and I felt the effects on my body for months afterward. For many weeks, I was so depleted and weak that I couldn't do a single sit-up. I don't know if it was due to lowered oxygen levels or steroids, but it was awful. This time is better (partially because I didn't wait for three hours to go to the hospital, like I did in 1994)--I have some loss of strength, but I took a "gentle yoga" class yesterday, mostly sitting and stretching, and am basically walking through my dance steps in other classes. I am really not back up to speed, though.

This incident made me remember how important lungs are to the body, how vital it is to be able to breathe properly. I am reminded how awful the side effects of prednisone are for me, even though they are performing a critical healing step in taking my lung inflammation down. I am reminded that if I don't consciously slow down, my body will take the opportunity to do so, and not always in a gentle manner!

My yoga class was all about breathing yesterday--it's funny how these sort of little synchronicities can happen. I was just happy to be able to move my body, no matter how lacking it felt in terms of strength and flexibility. Just taking a good, deep breath these days is wonderful to me.

This has nothing to do with breathing, but I have a garden announcement: After many years, my lilac is finally going to bloom! It has at least ten flower buds on it.
Slowly, I begin to plan my garden again, a cycle that I pray will recur for me, for as long as I can toss a few seeds into the ground!