You Just Never Know

To an Ex-Friend:


YOU detonated it all. It's not my fault, though you said I somehow "made" you do it. You sent a bizarre email to an unsuspecting and innocent person, declaring your love for her, out of the blue, which just grossed her out and upset all parties to this ridiculousness on your part. You should never be in any position of authority where you are in contact with young women at all. What was she going to do, come running to you, an old goat? Who would want a guy thirty-five years older than her..someone she'd have to start caretaking in her 30s? Sometimes those relationships work, but usually not...and again, you are not George Clooney.
You're a parasite who uses people until you get tired of them, and that is God's truth.

How dare you trespass in the world of the young and vulnerable? You know, maybe if you were the aforementioned George Clooney, you might have had a chance, but...just God, people like you seriously sicken me. You used your position as co-ML of Nanowrimo in Santa Cruz to hone in on someone, a young and vulnerable woman, a woman young enough to be your daughter or even granddaughter, for an ENTIRE YEAR--smarmy, creepy blog posts, smarmy creepy behavior at the write-ins, smarmy creepy email. She had no idea of what you were doing. In fact, what you really did was create a hostile environment, using your position to harm another person and harass them, and make it impossible for me, and her, and probably others,to enjoy what should be a fun experience. This young woman, me, and probably several of her friends had NO CHANCE to go to the final reading and "Thank God It's Over" party because of your creepy presence there. Talk about creating a hostile environment, as I said! Using Nanowrimo as a vehicle to hone in on young women who are so many decades younger than you (you've done it three times so far)is shameful and criminal.

Here is my hope for you: that in your time alone, you think about the web of destruction you wove. I think you were deliberate, conscious of every act, and that you are hiding so much more, so much in an utterly warped soul and mind. Your last missive to me was that I was disgusting. YOU are disgusting beyond measure. You are a terrorist to young women. I would have loved to have read my work at the final gathering of Nanowrimo here in Santa Cruz, as well as all the others who stayed away.

I hope in your lonely life now that you think of what you did to all of us. Women have the right to go anywhere, to be anywhere, without creepy folks like you hanging around them. You push away and hurt the very people who care about you, who love you, who are your family even. I cannot imagine how lonely your life is going to be now. However, predators like you just move on to the next target. I can't imagine how calculating the mind is that you hide behind a caring, New Thought, harmlessly fun exterior. There is a shadowy soul lurking in you. I wish there was some magic way to have the word BEWARE OF PREDATOR on your forehead, but there isn't a way to do that.

But darling, karma is a real bitch. One day you'll get caught with your hand in the wrong cookie jar. Or someone will bring a sexual harassment suit against you. At the very least, I predict that when illness and infirmity strike you in not-so-many-years (because you ain't no spring chicken), you will find yourself alone, and will have to pay some of that money you worship to have caretakers who don't really give a crap about you. I hope then that you will feel some remorse about pushing everyone away, and will feel some awareness of the unbelievable selfishness that has made it impossible for you to have any lasting relationship. You have the temerity to call me a slut, to call me psychotic to cover your butt, to say I disgust you.

As I said, karma is a bitch, and the wheel of karma grinds slow and exceedingly fine. My small comfort is that you can never escape it. Your actions will come back to haunt you in this life or the next. And you know what? You will have no one to blame but YOURSELF.