Q: What do you call a guy who goes to the Alaskan wilderness to commune with bears, blow kisses at them, and name them cutesy things like Cupcake and Mr. Chocolate?
A: Lunch
Sorry, couldn't resist. Yes, I know it's mean, but for chrissakes: I like and respect the mountain lion that's around my property, but it doesn't mean I'm going to seek it out, name it Tinkerbell, and give it a catnip mouse.
I don't know how on earth I managed to not see Grizzly Man, Werner Herzog's documentary about Timothy Treadwell, a self-styled "grizzly bear expert" who went into the Alaskan wilderness to live amongst his grizzly friends, the most ferocious land mammals in North America. Granted, Treadwell lived for thirteen summers in Alaska without too many mishaps and many of the bears tolerated him, more or less...and, at the end, definitely less. Treadwell and his poor girlfriend, Amie Hugenard, were mauled and eaten by a grizzly, and the entire attack was recorded, because one
One of the most intriguing things about this documentary is Herzog's deadpan narration, rendered in a ponderous German accent ("Treadwell did not know ze danger he vass in as he hugged ze giant bear and patted it on itz nose"). Second is the coroner who examined Treadwell and Hugenard's bodies. His first scene involves opening up the body-sized "can" (like a coffin, only to transport remains, in this case, Treadwell's and Hugenard;s). He then narrates what the bodies looked like, like Mr. Rogers, with the cadence of Dracula. He is so creepy that I wouldn't even want him performing an autopsy on me.
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