A Too-Great Missing

In such sadness and distress over missing someone, feel like I can barely get through the day... how stupid, right? This person cannot possibly miss me like this, can they? 

And what a surprise, this depth of sadness...and why? It does not help that a few days before we parted, there opened up a huge gulf of fear and sadness, especially on my part: as if a mask slipped off and I saw my friend as if in a distorted mirror. We spoke and I feel they understand, but I could have stood up for myself more. and been more clear. And took what I think was a sincere apology to heart.

Ah, the complications of the human heart: do we ever unravel the complex feelings we have for others? No, I think it's like a skein of handmade, painted yarn: one color here, another here, light and shadow, maybe a thorn that wasn't carded out, a ravelled edge. I think so.