I had to tactfully indicate to a friend to basically put a lid on their dithering along about the fun holiday stuff they've been doing. This person is close to my life and actually knows about the amount of pain I am in, and how much I do not want to have anything to do with the holidays this year. They know I am going through the motions because I have a child to try and make things good for. Otherwise, I would be ignoring everything from Thanksgiving onwards. It's too much.
I do not expect my needs to be foremost in anyone's mind, but for Chrissakes...if you have a grieving relative or friend, try to remember that they may not WANT to hear about the fun holiday activities you are having and how wonderful it all is. It increases the grieving person's sense of isolation a lot, for one thing.
Deep grieving sticks someone on an ice floe, metaphorically, and it is respectful to remember that if someone you know is dealing with a major loss.
