First: I will be updating this blog more frequently, I hope, and I have also joined with the modern era and opened a substack. I will be adding a link to this on my blog's page as well. I hope to update it as well as this.
My substack may very well be more "public" than this blog, which has felt very internal and diary-like. Here is the substack link. You can subscribe if you wish, or not:
Faithful Readers, I know it has been some time since I have posted. I have been in a long recuperation from the experience with my heart last August. Further tests have shown that I have an enlarged heart along with coronary artery spasms. I never thought I would be on multiple heart medications, but here I am. I am on both time-released nitroglycerin and "regular" nitroglycerin. Curiously, I hope that if I am to ever have a fatal heart attack, that I just drop like a stone and never come back.
Oddly, the people who most stridently in denial about me having lupus, and how much it debilitated me, have offered me kindness and wishes for good health after learning about my cardiac event. And still, some think it is a kind of affront, as if I am to live forever. Get used to it, folks: that day will come for me, too, and I am not afraid.
I have PTSD from the experience, I tire easily, and hot weather affects me much more in my mid-sixties than ever. There are days I am sometimes in such pain, it feels like someone is shooting electric shocks through my body. These are days that happen every few weeks, thankfully, but they are horrific. There are medications but they dull my mind--a tradeoff.
Can I get my health back? I'm trying. I will not leave the earth until I know for sure that my grandchildren will be okay. That is all I want now. And to finish a couple of quilts, and of course still write. Everything else is gravy, as Raymond Carter wrote.
I'm turning from this short update to watch the third day of the Democratic National Convention. Someone said that these last few weeks have been the most stressful ten years of their lives! We are living history--hopefully one of the best histories. We have a chance to put the Orange Lizard and his ear-bandage-diaper-wearing-specimen-cup-holding-insurrection-making followers back in their holes.
Life can be better. We can rise to the occasion. Vote as if your life depends on it, as if the life of the world depends on it, because it does.
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