I've been pondering a situation on the periphery of my life lately, the doings of a person in my "exercise" life whose behavior has--I suspect completely inadvertantly-- caused a sort of emotional vortex, the result of which I don't know yet--it could be positive, negative, or a tangle of both things. The results have little to do with my own personal life, yet I've been dwelling on it so much that I have neglected good things in the last two days, such as how gorgeous the moonlight looked tonight on the branches of winter trees.
It's so easy to get caught up in drama and neglect the center of my own life. The truth is, I do get perplexed by behaviors and some part of me, perhaps the writer part, just simply wants to figure out why someone is doing something. Still, I can spend an inordinate amount of time on that when what I REALLY need to do is detach and take stock of my own life. In this situation, I could choose to do nothing right now and see how things unfold; I could choose to take a hiatus; I could walk away and find another venue. I won't make any decision without breathing, taking time, asking for guidance from my Higher Power, even exercising gratitude for what has been given, even if things initially look as if there could be no gratitude at all applied to it. Sometimes in life, I've found that the gratitude lies in simply saying, "Thank You for opening my eyes to what seems to be the reality of this situation."
And that's all for tonight--gratitude and silver light on cold white branches.
My name is Joan McMillan and this blog is, as Emily Dickinson says, "my letter to the world." I am currently working on a nonfiction book about the murder of a young woman, Asha Veil, born Joanna Dragunowicz, and her unborn daughter, Anina, on September 9, 2006. My book is meant to honor her life and illuminate the need to create a safer world for women and children.

To read an excerpt from the book, please click on the following link:
ashaveilbook.blogspot.com
An excerpt from The Pleasure Palace, my romantic comedy, can be found here:
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