clarity

Just to clarify: when I am speaking online to my friends who are close to me in this healing situation, I am not at all in favor of saying bad things about the people in question, one of whom is actually a very good and kind person, with great creative talent.  I stll consider this person a friend.  I said enough bad things in December, for which I am terribly sorry and will be for always.  I don't want people to say things about karma and such and I do not encourage it.

 Mostly we just talk about ourselves and the things that have happened to us, and what we would have done differently or better--he holds a pretty heavy burden of lost things himself, and he wants to do well in the relationship he has now. It is nice to have a friend that I can just chat with and get caring support from.

Just for the record, I danced in my bellydance class as if it were my first class ever, rather poorly, and still liked it and did not berate myself...just had an off day. Still, after having upsurges of grief throughout the day, I realize that sometimes it takes a real toll on my body and I need to be better to myself.